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Did you hear the one about......?


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Little red riding hood is walking through the woods when the big, bad wolf jumps out from behind a tree. He tells her, ‘ I am going to cut you up in little pieces’. Little red riding hood says,’no, you’re not. Your going to take me to grandmothers house and tie me up and eat me just like the book says!’ 

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An 80 year old couple wanted to rekindle some excitement for their anniversary so the night before as they went to bed they made plans to show up for and eat breakfast naked. So they’re sitting there the next morning and the wife says, “this is really working, my nipples are as hot for you this morning as they’ve ever been”

The old man looks up, then back down and says without missing a beat “that’s because one of them is in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee.”

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A naive, inexperienced young man gets married, is not sure what to do on his wedding night. He calls his mother and asks her what to do. His mother says, ‘ lay down along side her, rub her belly, and tell her you love her.’ So he does just that. His new bride says, ‘oh, lower, lower.’ The man musters up his deepest voice, rubs her belly, and says, ‘I love you’. 
 The young man calls his mother back and explains that that didn’t work. Mother says, ‘ take your most prized possession and put it where she pee pee’s.’ So gets his bowling ball and puts it in the toilet. 

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On 11/30/2022 at 8:19 AM, gr8fulpair said:

A woman stands nude in front of the mirror noticing all of her sags and wrinkles. “Honey, say something good about me to make me feel better about myself.”

 

”Well,” he says, “seems your vision is spot on!”

 

She might tell you that your memory needs to be checked because you posted the same joke a year ago (and told it better that time 😃).

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