chinadoll

Streaming the Jubilee this year with the cat curled up on my chest keeping my heart warm, and my son close beside me reminding me that love still carries on.

Something about last night’s 5/23 setlist hit me deep. Certain songs just seemed to find the exact places in my soul I’ve been trying to make peace with this past year. Sometimes this whole thing still feels unreal, like I’m stuck in some strange dream I can’t wake up from. Then the music starts, the North Star shines overhead, and for a little while it all makes sense again.

I miss my best friend terribly. Almost a year since I last heard his voice. Still, I swear I feel him around sometimes — in the sunshine, in the music, even in the little critiques I can still hear him making in my head during a set. Maybe I’ll never understand why things happened the way they did. Maybe that understanding isn’t mine to have.

But I’m grateful tonight. Grateful for this community, for the stream, for the songs that somehow keep speaking when words fail, and for the love that never really leaves us.