Advisory Board Dr. Barry Posted December 13, 2009 Advisory Board Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 PRESS RELEASE Sunday, December 13, 2009-For Immediate Release FURTHUR AND PRICELINE.COM REACH AMICABLE SETTLEMENT Top level management for Furthur, Incorporated and Priceline.com have reached a settlement avoiding costly litigation for patent and trade infringements. Both the Grateful Dead community and the Online travel consumer market breathed a collective sigh of relief as the negotiated arrangement both resolved current tensions and paved the way for future cooperation between the two mega corporations. A high level negotiating team for Priceline.com was led by none other than celebrity spokesperson William Shatner. Furthur, Incorporated was represented by musician, Bob Weir. The two met for several hours and were assisted in their discussions by representatives of several related and interested parties, such as: The American Interpretative Hearing Association which provided sign language interpretation of the negotiations, Lee Majors-representing the Bionic Ear, and others. The main point of contention was the allegation that Bob Weir of Furthur, Inc was utilizing a vocal style copied almost verbatim of Priceline.com's William Shatner. This vocal style is known as "Shatnerizing" or "Shatneresque". Shatnerizing has been described as the use of a monotone, deadpan delivery with inflection meant to leave the listener puzzled and amused. It is characterized by the utilization of awkward pauses and unnatural phrasing between words and sentences. Mr. Shatner had perfected the technique and was perplexed when he learned that Weir was using his method while singing. Shatner stated " When I-------- Shatnerize------on the--------commercials,-------I do it-----as-----a joke. I--------am actually-------making fun------of------myself. I never-------imagined that--------someone would------try------and sing----using that style.". After listening to recordings of the new band Furthur, attorneys for both sides agreed that Weir had appropriated Shatners vocal style. Attorneys for Furthur, Inc tried to argue that it was not intentional, that Mr. Weir was simply older now, and despite over 40 years in the rock and roll industry he had literally "forgotten how to sing". When deposed however, Mr. Weir admitted that he was "Shatnerizing" on purpose, stating that "these songs, especially the Garcia songs are just too good to sing right anymore. I chop them up on purpose. I mean, if Phil can sing the Jerry songs in his own way, I need a way to destroy those good old tunes too". When pressed, Weir agreed that he was trying to create a new style. He said "Look, we know what Jerry would have wanted and we know what the fans want to hear and we don't give a sh-t. Some folks think Phil and I sing the Garcia songs out of love and respect for Jerry, that's just not true. We trash his tunes cause we can. It's our band now. We are proving that we are just as much creative geniuses as Garcia was". The deal will allow Weir to continue to "Shatnerize" his vocals with Furthur and will also signal a corporate merging between Priceline.com and Furthur, Inc. Weir has agreed to become the TV pitchman for Priceline.com upon Shatners retirement or death, whichever comes first thus assuring continuity for the travel corporation. Priceline.com has agreed to become the sole strategic partner to Furthur, Inc for fans to purchase flight and lodging arrangments. The negotiations had some other side benefits as well. Former Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart was brought back into the fold and cut a deal allowing him to portray "Mr. Spock" in any new Star Trek Movies that may be on the horizon. Furthur guitar player and vocalist John Kadlecik had his entire Star Trek action figure collection signed by Shatner in the deal. "Not too many people know that I was a Trekkie first and a Deadhead later" JK stated. "To me, Space is more than a bathroom break during a show. It is the Final Frontier". Furthur consultant Jill Lesh learned how to perform both the Vulcan "Death Grip" and the "Mindmelt". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neutrino Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That was truly marvelous!!! Thank you for starting my Sunday with such a great laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mind Of A Squirrel Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 The deal will allow Weir to continue to "Shatnerize" his vocals with Furthur and will also signal a corporate merging between Priceline.com and Furthur, Inc. Weir has agreed to become the TV pitchman for Priceline.com upon Shatners retirement or death, whichever comes first thus assuring continuity for the travel corporation. Priceline.com has agreed to become the sole strategic partner to Furthur, Inc for fans to purchase flight and lodging arrangments. Not mentioned in the article is the immediate side-deal that will utilize Bob Weir in public appearances as the 'Travelocity Gnome'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well we're sorry you feel that way but we did want a block of flats, nice though the abattoir is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP HelpSlip Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 we get it dr. b, u don't like furthur Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Bob Phil JK You Think about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advisory Board Dr. Barry Posted December 13, 2009 Author Advisory Board Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 we get it dr. b, u don't like furthur I do like Furthur. Seen them 3 times already. Will see them both nights in Chicago. I don't like the seemingly intentional lyric destruction that Bob does to all Garcia tunes he sings. Ruins the songs for me. I can accept Phil singing Jerry's songs better. I've said it before around here. At least it sounds like Phil is trying to put the love and respect into his voice when he sings. To me, Bob is trashing and ruining the songs with his scat singing. I am a big Bob fan, a bigger Jerry fan, but a big Bob fan too. I never thought I would see the day that anything he did was awful or offensive but that day has come with this singing style. I will still see Furthur and take away what I can love. But this version of Bob singing truly leaves me wishing he would just try and sing in a way that is respectful to the song, the lyrics, the original singer and the fans. Bob can't be oblivious to the fact that most people find this style of "singing" harsh. To me it is not that he is singing the Garcia tunes. He can. So can Phil. They own that right. It's the way he is butchering them. On purpose. Bob has a great voice, a great style. I always loved it throughout all the years, styles, sidebands, etc. But this is just "beyond the pale" Sure, Artists must please themselves before they please the public. But just because he can fill a room and "Shatnerize" a Days Between and people will put up with it doesn't mean he should. Artists should respect their fans too and listen to what I believe is overwhelming opinion. It's not that he is singing, it's the way he's singing. I can get into Bob and Phil lovingly playing their brothers songs, and Phil tries and often does (to me), but Bob doesn't. I will enjoy JK playing with Bob and Phil. I will see Furthur when they are around. My big hopes for the band are very diminished but I still hope for the best which will to me be Bob and Phil doing their things the way they do it best and JK doing his thing the way he does it best. Time will tell. I'm not a complainer, but I do have my opinion and I would rather poke a little fun at Bob than bitch and moan like so many others do. I'm just having fun... Dr. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advisory Board Dr. Barry Posted December 13, 2009 Author Advisory Board Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Bob Phil JK You Think about it Dave, You know I love ya but JK is no Radar O'Reilly! He is a masterful performer. Maybe he is being treated like a bit character but Radar always pulled the strings and ran the show behind the scenes. The lead guitar player in a band shines best when he pulls the strings in front of the curtain. And maybe Bob is thumbing his nose at everyone. But I don't like it! I'm allowed to have my opinion about it. And me as the opinionated idiot "Frank Burns" who doesn't get the jokes? The jury is out on that one... Dr. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mind Of A Squirrel Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 I'm not a complainer I thought I knew the definition of that word until today... This crazy ol' English language just keeps getting stranger and stranger... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 pranksters apprentice naysayer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b and a Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 I really dont care who sings what. I only really care about the Lead Guitar and how its played. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP John A Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Well played, Dr. B. Brilliantly funny! Of course, were it not completely true the humor wouldn't have such precious bite... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Advisory Board Dr. Barry Posted December 13, 2009 Author Advisory Board Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 I thought I knew the definition of that word until today... This crazy ol' English language just keeps getting stranger and stranger... How about expressing an opinion using satire to bring humor to a situation? I guess if an opinion is not positive it leans in the direction of a complaint, but they are different, and the intention is different. Alot of people complain on these Forums, and I usually refrain from expressing my opinion unless I really feel strongly about it. When I heard Bob sing Days Between it just hurt. That is not a complaint, just my reaction to Bob's current Shatneresque singing style. My opinion only. I thought that by sharing that opinion in a humorous way that it would tend to be less viewed as complaint and more as a humorous yet heartfelt view of Bobs singing these days with Furthur. If opinions were complaints then why have "Suggestion Boxes" in stores and businesses? It's about your intention. Mine was to express an opinion using humor, that's all. I support JK, Bob, Phil and especially DSO. People often don't get my jokes anyway... Dr. B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neutrino Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Come on folks--have a sense of humor! We all love this music, and the people who created it. There's nothing wrong with someone poking a little fun at Bob Weir. I thought Dr. B's post was very creative and funny. I happen to share his opinion about how Bobby is now singing Jerry's songs, but I'm still looking forward to seeing them play on Dec. 30-31 no matter who sings the songs. I was very heartened to see they finally let JK do a song like Wharf Rat last night. If Bobby "Shatnered" his way though that song, would it be wrong to makes some jokes about it? I think they'll figure it out as this evolves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mind Of A Squirrel Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 How about expressing an opinion using satire to bring humor to a situation?I guess if an opinion is not positive it leans in the direction of a complaint, but they are different, and the intention is different. Alot of people complain on these Forums, and I usually refrain from expressing my opinion unless I really feel strongly about it. When I heard Bob sing Days Between it just hurt. That is not a complaint, just my reaction to Bob's current Shatneresque singing style. My opinion only. I thought that by sharing that opinion in a humorous way that it would tend to be less viewed as complaint and more as a humorous yet heartfelt view of Bobs singing these days with Furthur. If opinions were complaints then why have "Suggestion Boxes" in stores and businesses? It's about your intention. Mine was to express an opinion using humor, that's all. I support JK, Bob, Phil and especially DSO. People often don't get my jokes anyway... Dr. B Either way, it was freaking hilarious, and we all thank you for the chuckle... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ignatz Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 PRESS RELEASESunday, December 13, 2009-For Immediate Release FURTHUR AND PRICELINE.COM REACH AMICABLE SETTLEMENT Top level management for Furthur, Incorporated and Priceline.com have reached a settlement avoiding costly litigation for patent and trade infringements. Both the Grateful Dead community and the Online travel consumer market breathed a collective sigh of relief as the negotiated arrangement both resolved current tensions and paved the way for future cooperation between the two mega corporations. A high level negotiating team for Priceline.com was led by none other than celebrity spokesperson William Shatner. Furthur, Incorporated was represented by musician, Bob Weir. The two met for several hours and were assisted in their discussions by representatives of several related and interested parties, such as: The American Interpretative Hearing Association which provided sign language interpretation of the negotiations, Lee Majors-representing the Bionic Ear, and others. The main point of contention was the allegation that Bob Weir of Furthur, Inc was utilizing a vocal style copied almost verbatim of Priceline.com's William Shatner. This vocal style is known as "Shatnerizing" or "Shatneresque". Shatnerizing has been described as the use of a monotone, deadpan delivery with inflection meant to leave the listener puzzled and amused. It is characterized by the utilization of awkward pauses and unnatural phrasing between words and sentences. Mr. Shatner had perfected the technique and was perplexed when he learned that Weir was using his method while singing. Shatner stated " When I-------- Shatnerize------on the--------commercials,-------I do it-----as-----a joke. I--------am actually-------making fun------of------myself. I never-------imagined that--------someone would------try------and sing----using that style.". After listening to recordings of the new band Furthur, attorneys for both sides agreed that Weir had appropriated Shatners vocal style. Attorneys for Furthur, Inc tried to argue that it was not intentional, that Mr. Weir was simply older now, and despite over 40 years in the rock and roll industry he had literally "forgotten how to sing". When deposed however, Mr. Weir admitted that he was "Shatnerizing" on purpose, stating that "these songs, especially the Garcia songs are just too good to sing right anymore. I chop them up on purpose. I mean, if Phil can sing the Jerry songs in his own way, I need a way to destroy those good old tunes too". When pressed, Weir agreed that he was trying to create a new style. He said "Look, we know what Jerry would have wanted and we know what the fans want to hear and we don't give a sh-t. Some folks think Phil and I sing the Garcia songs out of love and respect for Jerry, that's just not true. We trash his tunes cause we can. It's our band now. We are proving that we are just as much creative geniuses as Garcia was". The deal will allow Weir to continue to "Shatnerize" his vocals with Furthur and will also signal a corporate merging between Priceline.com and Furthur, Inc. Weir has agreed to become the TV pitchman for Priceline.com upon Shatners retirement or death, whichever comes first thus assuring continuity for the travel corporation. Priceline.com has agreed to become the sole strategic partner to Furthur, Inc for fans to purchase flight and lodging arrangments. The negotiations had some other side benefits as well. Former Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart was brought back into the fold and cut a deal allowing him to portray "Mr. Spock" in any new Star Trek Movies that may be on the horizon. Furthur guitar player and vocalist John Kadlecik had his entire Star Trek action figure collection signed by Shatner in the deal. "Not too many people know that I was a Trekkie first and a Deadhead later" JK stated. "To me, Space is more than a bathroom break during a show. It is the Final Frontier". Furthur consultant Jill Lesh learned how to perform both the Vulcan "Death Grip" and the "Mindmelt". this is so great and so true!!!!!way to go....it starting to seem like alot of us our on the same page........let jk do his thing!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deadheadmike Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 People often don't get my jokes anyway...Dr. B In New Jersey we say " Fuck em if they can't take a joke " so fuck em ... I got the joke and thought it was very funny and well written Dr.B ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 it definitely was funny frank burns was often funny too, always quoting regulations to the irreverent I just think all this "destroy the songs" stuff is melodrama, and I want to dig Bob doing what Bob wants to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deadheadmike Posted December 13, 2009 Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 it definitely was funnyfrank burns was often funny too, always quoting regulations to the irreverent I just think all this "destroy the songs" stuff is melodrama, and I want to dig Bob doing what Bob wants to do. frank burns was a real pisser and mash was a great show ... you are allowed to think what you think and should be respected for what you think and who you dig and don't dig ... allow others the same and in time they may see it your way ... I started to see it your way last night ... the show rocked from start to finish , even Phil's Peggy O !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 Phil's Peggy O !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP anddave Posted December 13, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 13, 2009 OMG SOF is all two-stepp-y!! Call the Phrasing Police!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deadheadmike Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 OMG SOF is all two-stepp-y!! Call the Phrasing Police!!!!!!!! a little up tempo , different , but good ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP kdubfan Posted December 14, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Dr. B this is WAYYYY funny! I'm still laughin :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted December 14, 2009 Forum MVP Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 The negotiations had some other side benefits as well. Former Grateful Dead drummer Mickey Hart was brought back into the fold and cut a deal allowing him to portray "Mr. Spock" in any new Star Trek Movies that may be on the horizon. good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drpinky Posted December 16, 2009 Report Share Posted December 16, 2009 Never explain a joke. If people don't get it, then it's just one less laugh for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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