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I went to Georgetown. Managed to graduate too. In hindsight I know I didn't make the most of that experience. I squandered my families money. I could've got As and Bs but because of my addictions and my desire to live the GD movement I got Cs. Don't get me wrong I could've lived the GD movement and performed well in school. But I would've seen less shows. There was no way to perform to the level I was capable of doing the amount of drugs and alcohol I was doing. I even missed shows to get high. However even with my grades the biggest thing I did to hinder life's track was picked up some criminal charges along the way including felonies. When I graduated I plan to go on tour for the summer and then get a real job a career. Then Dewey beach happened. My first felony. My excuse for not seeking real employment for years. My excuse to totally drop out. My excuse for gaining traction towards more felonies. After Delaware I did get a look at an investment money managing firm, I clearly separated myself from the other interns. I got over 95 percent series 6 and 63. Pennsylvania turned down my applications based off of my marijuana felony. The company chose not to hire me based on I couldn't do the job without the license. I was falling from Grace. It didn't stop there though. I ended up living a scandalous life. I broke her heart. I had a solid girl that worked and accepted the way I got by and I cheated on her. I threw my life into further turmoil and picked up felony number 2 shortly after our break up. Hell you would think I would turn back at this point but I'm stubborn and as my recently deceased brother would tell you I'm the dumbest smart kid you know. However this was the lowest felt. I was dishonest and intentionally so. I was selfish. I didn't worry about others feelings. Despite that being the lowest I felt about myself, things definitely got worse. I met Whitney. She saved my life. I'd be with Herdy now if it wasn't for her. I was doing so much drugs and alcohol I was on a collision course for death. She helped me scale it back but it didn't stop and I didn't see things clearly. I certainly was blind all the time I was learning to see. We had a baby Delilah she is the most beautiful and precious spirit I know. Some of you have see her get down on the dance floor. Her joy is pure magic but even that couldn't totally rescue me. My mom fell down and couldn't get up for hours. We hoped it was dehydration. We prayed it was a stroke. It turned out to be stage 4 gliobastoma. A death sentence. I got arrested twice within 6 months of the news. My third felony and a SIS. I still struggle to accept the SIS as me doing totally wrong. A cop pulled up behind me while i was peeing on my tire. I beg you to show me a male or even a female that at some point hasn't peed on a tire. But I did have a baggie with some cocaine residue on it and some weed in the car. The cop literally told me if I was 30 miles down the highway they would dump those on the side of the road and I would be on my way but not Lafayette county Missouri. Once again, you'd think I turn back. I would do right. But drug addiction and grief are a mother fucker. I couldn't control myself. I was given probation but I peed dirty. Here I have no excuse. I fucked up. I'm extremely fortunate Whitney still with me, that I still have a family. I ended up getting a 4 month DOC drug treatment sentence in order to continue probation. I had totally fallen from grace. I went to prison. That's a scary fucking place. You want to know racism is real go to prison. If you don't have a stamp, you in the minority. It was also heart breaking. Delilah would ask me why I just won't come home. She worries now every time I go to work that I'm not coming home. It breaks my heart. Im crying as I type this. Im not sure I can fall further from grace. Over the course of these years I developed debts with several people. Many I've paid. Some I have not. Those debts aren't forgotten and fortunately I have a get of jail free card coming. After probate, I will receive enough money to settle all my debts and to start businesses. It sucks to do it this way. I wasn't capable of doing it on my own but I truly hope to do it and not only do it but to establish a future for my children. I currently work 40 plus hours a week at Qdoba. I would've been promoted to shift supervisor by now but they won't do it until I'm off probation. I am pissing clean for all my drug tests since getting out of DOC but I've burnt many bridges already. I've lost many friends. I know some people will never trust me or feel the same way about me again. I also know that I'm a good person. I've never intentionally fucked someone or did someone wrong but the road to hell is filled with good intentions. I've certainly taken the long road to incorporate my mom and dad tried to teach me at a young age. I now know much more deeply the value of the all important dollar. And we could talk about how I really feel about the age of greed and age of American capitalist imperialism but it doesn't matter. Reality is what it is. Theories and idealism don't mean much although we should change course. Help people not hinder them. Stop supporting the American prison profit system and destruction of peoples lives. But that isn't what I'm here to do right now. I'm sorry to those I let down along the way. I'm beyond sorry to my mom and dad. They used to tell me because of my intellectual gifts to whom much is given much expected. Neither will live to see me as a success. I've let them down immensely. I've let many of you down immensely. All I hope it for forgiveness and love; to make things right; and to keep the positive energy of this community going. DSO, the Grateful Dead and the love contained in the message of the Grateful Dead has taught me that a better life is possible. I can make things right. Success is possible. I can find direction. I can be a great dad. I can be a positive force in this scene and community. If the good lord wills it, I'll get back on my feet. Some will say I've shared too much. I should never have posted something like this but it felt good to get it off my chest to own it. I fallen from grace and I'm not entirely innocent in the fall. In fact, I'm responsible. Fortunately, my mom and dad lived a life where I will be granted a chance to get back on track. But I'd much rather have my mom but I will someday be someone that my mom and dad can look down on and be proud of. I will be the person I know I'm capable of being. I will live the good life.

It takes great strength and grace to put yourself out there like that. I completely understand the sorrow of letting others down but "... to thine own self, be true." We simply cannot hide and many still die trying. I got a ways to go to be the man I know I can be but I've had to remind myself every day that "I'm 100% *!@&# worth it - even if when feel like I'm not. Love you brother - here's to the best chapter yet!

https://www.bryersfh.com/obituary/Sherry-Eichert

I streamed 2nd and 3rd sets. Show was fire 🔥! Crypty was very good - Terrapin Suite was excellent!