Rude

[bs69]

This hurts. Met Aaron several years ago in Cincy and have texted with him quite a bit over the years, usually about politics or sports betting. Even got him to come to our big camping extravaganza down at Mammoth cave in Spring 24'. Such a good guy to hang out with, he'll be missed.

[Ammagamalin Crew]

https://www.milnerandorr.com/obituaries/Aaron-Andrew-Rottgering?obId=42908532

 

This was sent to me by a mutual friend of Aaron and me. This friend got me to my first dead show ~ 2nd night of RR 83. We've done a few Rochester and Buffalo DSO shows through years. 

[Tom Banjo]

I’ve been trying to work myself into the right space to share here and just feeling too much when I think about it. On my way to Kauai today for 6 nights I hope and believe that the sound of the waves and the feel of the sand will center me so I can truly share stories about a person who meant so much to my life. We had more good times coming brother. The darkness was gonna give. I just can’t believe that those times have been taken from us. I hope to see you again on the other side. You challenged me. Cared for me. Insulted me. Supported me. Changed me. I’m not sure you even knew just how much you impacted my life and I know I did some of the same for you.  We were cut from the same cloth kind caring good spirited ass holes. 

[2muchfun]

34 minutes ago, Tom Banjo said:

IThe darkness was gonna give. I just can’t believe that those times have been taken from us. I hope to see you again on the other side. You challenged me. Cared for me. Insulted me. Supported me. Changed me. I’m not sure you even knew just how much you impacted my life and I know I did some of the same for you.  We were cut from the same cloth kind caring good spirited ass holes. 

I resemble that remark.

 

Obit indicates “a celebration of Aaron’s life will be at a later date”. I wish to be a part.

[Dr. Barry]

 

HE WAS A FRIEND OF MINE

 

Ever since hearing the terrible news I can't get it out of my head. Now seeing pictures of Aaron posted online and his obituary just bring it all home with even greater impact. We're left here empty handed and empty hearted wondering "why?", what could I have done?, what could anyone have done?... Lots of questions, no good answers.

 

A long time ago Aaron told me the story of how he got the nickname "Rude" and how he didn't feel it really suited him anymore and to me he was "Aaron" ever since. I can't remember where we met or when but it was a long time ago and we became friends right away. Maybe we were friends through the Forums first (most likely), where he lovingly spent so much of his time, becoming a larger than life figure on the scene with his sharp wit and friendly approach to everyone. But he would have remembered where and how we met. He had a sharp memory in addition to his wit and an encyclopedic knowledge of the Grateful Dead and DSO.

 

Aaron had a "way" about him. He was a totally unique character and he was certainly a "character" in every good sense of the word. He would spark debate about anything with opinions about everything. He would smile all the while knowing that he was really just acting out a charade and spoofing all of us on the state of things. You could count on him too. If he promised, he delivered. But if you engaged with him on a topic you really had to be ready to follow it way down (or up) because Aaron had the tenacity and cleverness to be the devils advocate to the devils advocate. And he was really smart, as anyone naive enough to try and "win" a debate with him quickly found out.

 

How can we find any peace or closure when the most unthinkable happens? How do I reconcile the little videos he would send me of his son Jonathon dancing or playing while Aaron clearly was a very proud dad? How can we get back to the good memories that anyone who called Aaron a friend has many of? How? No good answers.

 

All I can think of is to try and remember to look out for each other. We are members of the same strange club, fraught with too much intellect, too much adventure, and too much risk when we let things get out of hand. Make a pact with one person that you will call them if you ever get to that point. Swear you will make that call. For me I've realized over my life that no matter how bad and hopeless things seem at any moment that they don't seem as bad 24 hours later. Maybe still bad, but not THAT bad. So that is a promise I made to myself, if needed shut the lights, close the curtains, roll up into a ball but just wait 24 hours and let yourself create a floor above the abyss. And there is always the 24 hour suicide hotline available by call or texting 988.

 

Aaron, you loved many and you were loved by many. You were a good friend. You were a brother on the DSO scene that will never be replaced. I wish you the peace you needed, but wish you were still around for the world to share while we all stand around looking for answers that don't really exist. Love you brother.

[chuckvegas]

Beautifully said, Barry.

 

It’s been too long.