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I FINALLY got a taste of some live GD-esque music this weekend. It felt really, really, really, really, really, really, really bleeping excellent to be back in the saddle - even if the musicianship was a far cry from DSO's collective chops. It was also really, really, really, really, really, really great to meet some new friends and dance the night away! Like a breath of the freshest air there is... I know I should be grateful to be alive with a healthy immediate family and a job BUT this last year has been so very tough on me - on all of us I'm sure. Innocence lost, love lost, family lost, lost family, respite lost. It all makes me so sad that it's hard to get up in the morning to face the day. Sorrow used to be an occasional visitor in my life but now it's moved into our spare bedroom and often takes over for days and days at a time. Grief is a very strange animal - I wish it would just go. People tell me I need to let it run it's course but it often feels like touching a hot stove. When it's not burning me, it feels like being alone in a boat that's sinking during a rainstorm - in the middle of the ocean. I guess I have to hurt in order to heal, right? Sorry for the therapy blog - if I keep it in, it literally eats me alive from the inside out. LIVE music won't be the sole reason that I make it through the maze I'm in but I'm certain it will help me reach a more comfortable place/perspective. It was really nice to smile again and to leave my trials and tribulations alone - even for just a couple hours. I'm looking forward to the peace that this music can bring me and sharing that joy with some amazing people.

T, its amazing how much we grow when we lose. How much we gain through loss, how much loss makes us feel when those nuggets of joy are given for us to experience. Sorry about ruff times and the fate of life. At times it seems its never ending. Perpetual cycles of ups and downs or constant downs. Hits you harder when your down, then hits you again till you become numb to all the blows. From dreary and cold nights of winter comes the rebirth of spring, to the long days of summer, back again through the strange nights of fall. Life is seasonal, but not always on time. Sometimes those seasons last months, year, years, a decade or two. Not always sure time heals but it does offer reflection, growth, and a sense of peace going through the worse accepting the tides, being more cautious, and eventually being wiser and more accepting as you experience more of the same. Steps to make you stronger to face a always not so beautiful world. But---with out the darkness there would be no light. Peace be with you brother. You will certainly carry some load, but time will allow you to shed the weight. Just as a caterpillar sheds its cocoon. The experience is part of the change inside. Your a good soul, keep that to heart as you bear the burdens. Little bit of music certainly helps. Support from friends and Jerry/Hunter words that seem to already know how you feel. Keep dancing....glad you got some music. Hope you get more. Take time for yourself T!! The ones you love will be better off with the time you take for yourself!!!

March 16. Nassau, 1973. Free up some time and enjoy this ride. https://archive.org/details/gd1973-03-16.sbd.miller.79186.sbeok.flac16/gd73-03-16d1t02.flac

Watch out for those Sunday shows. I just got my gold ticket for Sunday show. Come on, Baby, let the good times roll !!!

I believe the BCT was the last truly small venue the Dead played (Spring '86). I'd have loved to seen the Fall '84 shows there (1st official taper section shows), which were some of the best of that year, not to mention the epic August '72 run. Here's some trivia, and it's a show I did attend: the first show ever billed as "Phil & Friends" was at the BCT. It was acoustic, with Jerry, Bobby, Phil (on a huge hollow body guitar), and Vince. 9-24-94. It was a benefit for the Berkeley High School music program. There was a very rare, for that era, Duprees Diamond Blues, that Jerry so thoroughly flubbed in a way that only he can. 😀