Forum MVP Tom Banjo Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 I'm not married, but we've lived together for over 3 years. I would hardly say I qualify as a bachelor. She will still come to a show with me and such. We've celebrated her birthday at the Crossroads. She probably would not do a Dead and Company show due to the JM and too much Bobby factor. She likes DSO. Tea, Did your wife ever attend shows or was this music and scene always separate from your home life? If she did attend, how much did you curtail your behavior? I would ask that of anyone who is currently in a relationship with someone who doesn't attend or almost never attends shows with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP bs69 Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 I have been married for 19 years to someone who does not like the Dead. She went to one show with me at Buckeye in the early 90's and it just happened to be the show that storms came through and dropped the temp about 30 degrees right before the show. She was wet and miserable the whole time, really backfired. However, she has always been good about letting me out to go to shows as long as I don't push it too much. She knows how much it means to me. I also have four kids aged 12-19, to complicate things further. My kids have been to more shows with me than my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Rude Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 I have been married for 19 years to someone who does not like the Dead. She went to one show with me at Buckeye in the early 90's and it just happened to be the show that storms came through and dropped the temp about 30 degrees right before the show. She was wet and miserable the whole time, really backfired. However, she has always been good about letting me out to go to shows as long as I don't push it too much. She knows how much it means to me. I also have four kids aged 12-19, to complicate things further. My kids have been to more shows with me than my wife. Now that was a miserable show. From 95 degrees to 65 degrees and soaked. We were desperate for coffee or any warm drink but since it was mid summer, nada. We ordered one of those bloomin onions to hold in our hands to warm up. Saw several people with near hypothermia that had to leave. If that was her only show it was definitely not meant to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP John A Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 My wife saw shows before I did (in high school) and had more than a passing appreciation for The Boys when we met. Fast forward through 25 years of living with me and constantly being subjected to it, and, short of some lingering appreciation for some Garcia/Hunter material, she can't stand it. What can one do? Well, for one thing I can lament that the room my big system is in is right outside our bedroom door! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tea Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 Did your wife ever attend shows or was this music and scene always separate from your home life? If she did attend, how much did you curtail your behavior? I would ask that of anyone who is currently in a relationship with someone who doesn't attend or almost never attends shows with you. She saw the GD 5-6 times and 'liked' them. I took her to a couple PL&F, Dead '03, and a couple local acts. Result? Black Licorice - she was happy that it made me happy though. I've always done it separately and I took much advantage of that blessing with DSO from '08 - '09 with very young kids at home. Blessing turned into a curse and now my passion is her burden. Just gotta balance it out now and find other things to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Island Bro Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 I find this an interesting topic that you brought up, MC,,as I have been curious about other people's scenarios regarding their spouse or significant other in relation to DSO and GD music in general. Well I am in a similar boat as some of you--my wife is not a deadhead, although she is certainly a dancer in the fluid way that is familiar to deadhead dancers. She enjoyed seeing GD a couple times back in the day but it did not pull her in. She has seen one DSO show with me which she enjoyed and has expressed interest in catching another sometime (hopefully a Jerry heavy setlist as she can appreciate Jerry but much less so for Bobby tunes). But she is supportive and understanding of me taking off to go to shows without her,,in fact she can appreciate a quiet weekend home alone (we have no kids which is a factor for sure) and catch up with her girlfriends, etc. So it is not so much a burden but I can't really get out and travel to a few more shows as much as I'd like to. But how can a spouse not be at least somewhat supportive when they see their partner return from shows with so much joy in their hearts and lightness in their being? Heck, I am a better, more loving man when I return and she certainly picks up on that...so she is supportive when I take off for a few days for DSO. As far as being at the shows without my wife...I've grown to like it in many ways even though at times I wish to be sharing the experience with her. But being there with other friends is so easy and I feel more free by not having to be too concerned about someone else's experience like I would if she was there. And I think there would be more head trips for me if I was there single with no partner. I guess what I'm saying is that being married to a non deadhead person and going to DSO shows without her can be a very good set up for focusing on the music in a very acute manner,,and I really appreciate that space. Seems like it might be time for those funny animation videos that have been circulated around here in prior years to surface. The fanatical deadhead husband with the non deadhead wife...those were hilarious but certainly hit close to home for my wife and I! I don't have the link or remember how to find those...maybe someone else does,,, Anyway... There are a handful of old friends that I used to see GD shows with back in the day and interestingly, we all have non deadhead spouses (some men, some women) so we all bail on our spouses when DSO comes around and hit it hard,,,,but we always joke about how our spouses should all link up and create a support group to share their challenges of being married to a deadhead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP found Posted November 4, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 4, 2015 just found out I won tickets for Saturday. looking forward to taking that ride again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 My wife is a deadhead and we saw many shows together in college (hence my handle "gr8fulpair"). After Jerry died and we started having kids (around the same time) she lost the fire. I still had a good bed of coals. When I saw DSO for the first time in 2005, those coals burst back into a roaring blaze. She has seen DSO with me numerous times since and loves them, but it seems me, Rudedoggg, Tea for Texas and Sunny stamped her fire out for good a few years ago at black mountain. As you said Island Bro, she sees and feels my joy for these shows and is ultra supportive any time I want to go. Now if I could get my job feeling the same way.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tom Banjo Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 How does one have this fire stomped out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Island Bro Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 My wife is a deadhead and we saw many shows together in college (hence my handle "gr8fulpair"). After Jerry died and we started having kids (around the same time) she lost the fire. I still had a good bed of coals. When I saw DSO for the first time in 2005, those coals burst back into a roaring blaze. She has seen DSO with me numerous times since and loves them, but it seems me, Rudedoggg, Tea for Texas and Sunny stamped her fire out for good a few years ago at black mountain. As you said Island Bro, she sees and feels my joy for these shows and is ultra supportive any time I want to go. Now if I could get my job feeling the same way.... I have a close buddy of 25+ years who has this exact story...I also don't understand how the fire burns out for some but obviously it happens... Glad your wife supports your adventures! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP John A Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 After Jerry died and we started having kids (around the same time).... Same here. In fact the wife (not technically wife yet, much to her father's chagrin but that's another story) was pregnant with our oldest when Jerry checked out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 How does one have this fire stomped out? Let's just say that making the wife be designated driver for 10or11 tripsters after a DSO show is a bad idea for everyone involved. It was not a scene, but she let me know the next morning (for her, cause I had yet to retire, it was just a continuing day for me) that she had different plans. And she was good and I was good. 25 yrs of marriage, grown kids, no worries. End of story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tom Banjo Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I think she has a point. You would definitely be the DD for the crazed out hippies the next night while I got loose. Seems like you put in the work to scare her away. You didn't even retire to go to bed with her. The move surprises me considering I haven't seen you decide to stay up all night. Must've been a fun time at Black Mountain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP PoetryGirl Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Aw I wish she'd do the Hokey Pokey and turn herself around. It would be fun to have another sister hanging out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tea Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 I think she has a point. You would definitely be the DD for the crazed out hippies the next night while I got loose. Seems like you put in the work to scare her away. You didn't even retire to go to bed with her. The move surprises me considering I haven't seen you decide to stay up all night. Must've been a fun time at Black Mountain. There were some other contextual details that added to her bitter taste for the evening - it wasn't her night for sure. Aw I wish she'd do the Hokey Pokey and turn herself around. It would be fun to have another sister hanging out. She's as good as they come PC! She's been nothing but welcoming, understanding, and positive when we've turned the Gr8fulpair residence into the Launchpad for pre-show staging and post-show antics. He's got a keeper and 25 years proves it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tom Banjo Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 When we partying at pairs house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 When we partying at pairs house? Extend your Feb run to Charlotte and it'll be then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP PoetryGirl Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 We'll be there ! Bringing the vanagon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Tom Banjo Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 No can do this time round. I got quite a few on that tour plus Jamaica. Need to spend some time at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Rude Posted November 5, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 When we partying at pairs house? He's got a great setup. Not as much in February as going out on the boat wouldn't likely be very enjoyable with the wind hitting you in the face in winter. But we may get in some ice skating on the lake. Bring your blades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancin' Fool Posted November 5, 2015 Report Share Posted November 5, 2015 Looks like Walton and his friend the Zen-Master took in the Halloween show. Caption this: "Lose the Jacket Phil. Is it kicking in yet?" Just read this little nugget in the Boston Globe: Nov. 5 marks the 30th anniversary of Bill Walton’s 32d birthday, which was also the day his first wife arranged to have a stripper perform for him at midcourt of the gym at Hellenic College (Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology) after Celtics practice. A couple of members of the Grateful Dead were on hand (Phil Lesh and Bob Weir, if memory serves), but the one thing I’m certain of is that Danny Ainge and Greg Kite bolted for the locker room as soon as the young lady with the boom box began her routine. “Whatever happened to a simple birthday cake?’’ Kite asked as he left the scene. A red-faced Walton sat in a folding chair at midcourt for the performance, which had been OK’d by Celtics coach K.C. Jones. Something tells me this would not happen today. I thought it was interesting, in a On This Day in GD History way. GD played Worcester that evening... https://archive.org/details/gd85-11-05.sbd.lai.1188.sbefail.shnf On a Dead and Co. note, I read there will be a stop in Fenway Summer '16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 6, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 We'll be there ! Bringing the vanagon. Tell your hubby, and my pal, if they play Sampson, I'm cuttin in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 6, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 No can do this time round. I got quite a few on that tour plus Jamaica. Need to spend some time at home. Hope to see you in Athens brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP gr8fulpair Posted November 6, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 When we partying at pairs house?He's got a great setup. Not as much in February as going out on the boat wouldn't likely be very enjoyable with the wind hitting you in the face in winter. But we may get in some ice skating on the lake. Bring your blades. With the right gear, boating in Feburary is glorious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forum MVP Ammagamalin Crew Posted November 6, 2015 Forum MVP Report Share Posted November 6, 2015 Psyched for Saturday's webcast and the upcoming Columbus, Friday the 13th, show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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